


The Flowers In Our Lungs

by SunFlowerJHS



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Byun Baekhyun & Park Chanyeol are Best Friends, ChanBaek - Freeform, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Triggers, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-04-29 14:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 4,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14475126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunFlowerJHS/pseuds/SunFlowerJHS
Summary: Kim Jongin and Byun Baekhyun were dating, everyone knew. People would cheer them on, supporting them. Except for one person, who watched from afar- wishing he was in Jongin's shoes.Park Chanyeol.In their universe, you'll get something called hanahaki, if your love isn't requited. A disease where you throw up flower petals from your lungs, the only way to stop this is to get surgery in which you'll get the disease removed- with your feelings.And Chanyeol knows all too well he will get it sooner or later.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be quite a ride, and y'all will be here with me.  
> In My Blood by Shawn Mendes was used as inspiration.

Kim Jongin and Byun Baekhyun were together, and they were happy.

They always did couple stuff, like feeding each other, linking arms, kissing each other's forehead, fucking like rabbits. They were happy, so happy. Or what Baekhyun thought was happy.

But there was someone who didn't feel happy for  _them._

He was the one Baekhyun cried on, the one Baekhyun knew first, the one that Baekhyun talked to about Jongin, the one who gave advice, the one who gave everything just to see them happy. The one that was happy to see Baekhyun happy, but he truly wasn't.

His name was Park Chanyeol.

The lanky, kind best friend that Baekhyun had in his side.

But never his boyfriend.

Chanyeol is a person that loved Baekhyun and still does, he is a person that will soon be diagnosed with Hanahaki.

 ================================================================================

 

Chanyeol smiles, he laughs, he seemed bright. But he wasn't, he was tired, miserable and slowly falling apart.

Why?

All because of Baekhyun. The bastard that started it all.

Baekhyun was oblivious, too blind from Jongin's words and false lies, to caught up in the fact that he was dating- more like being used -Kim Jongin. To Kim Jongin, Baekhyun was simply a fucktoy, an object to release his anger on, to use and manipulate. Honestly, with Baekhyun, all he had to do was wink and say the three words Chanyeol failed to say before him.

_"I love you ~~r body."~~_

No, Jongin didn't love Baekhyun's smiles, his wonderful laugh, his bright personality, his stubborness, or his wonderful persona. No, Jongin loved Baekhyun's body, he loved the way that his body writhed under him, or how is pale thighs were stuffed into panties and stockings, how he looked when he sucked Jongin's cock, or how Baekhyun looked like when he was spent and used, cum all over his body and leaking out his hole. _It was **only** his body._

Their relationship was wack behind closed doors, Baekhyun tries so hard to please Jongin, only to be ignored or abused by Jongin. They couldn't even go on without an argument and have makeup sex per day. Baekhyun would always have at least one bruise visible to the public eye, either by Jongin's grip or his fists. All in all, Jongin was getting tired of Baekhyun, and Baekhyun never knew.

Oh how useless Chanyeol felt.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Baekhyun didn't come home again.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were flatmates, it was the only way he could see him instead of knocking on Jongin's door and witnessing something horrible. Something he never wanted to see.

 

So Chanyeol was alone today.

 

He ate his dinner alone.

He left the dishes in the sink, leaving leftovers for Baekhyun to eat.

 

He watched TV alone.

He didn't watch their series because he didn't want to spoil anything for Baekhyun, just in case he came back.

 

He cleaned up the flat alone.

He decided it was quite dusty.

 

He went to bed alone.

He almost believed he wasn't lonely.

_almost._

 

_he isn't coming back_

_stop waiting_

_you're nothing to him_

_stop trying_

_just stop_

_it isn't worth it_

_it'll be too late_

_you're alone_

_alone._

_alone._

 

He wasn't a fool, he knew he was lonely. He couldn't even choke back the sob that rose in his throat.

 

Chanyeol silently sobbed into the sheets, quietly calling out for Baekhyun, to hold him again, to at least see him smile again. Chanyeol yearned for something he will never receive.

 

It wasn't Chanyeol Baekhyun was calling for, no.

It was Jongin who he was calling for, it was never Chanyeol.

 

No, it wasn't the fact that he was alone everyday, or that he had time to think and ponder about how life can be so unfair and fucked up everyday. Or how life decides to fail him and keep him going, completely bypassing all of the bad thoughts Chanyeol had, the things that his mind said and urged him to do. No, it was because of Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun will really be the death of him.

And not in a good way


	3. Chapter 3

It started as a cough,

then it became hacking and hyperventilating

after that, it became blood, small amounts,

then it became bloody, shriveled, small petals.

 

chanyeol knew it would happen sooner or later, it was bound to happen.

 

he only sighed and cleaned up the mess he continues to make. He knew he had to hide this as best he can (even if he doesn't know how). He didn't want baekhyun to know, not now at least. maybe he can get surgery before he found out, yeah, it'll be easier for both of them. yeah, it will be nice.

 

chanyeol nodded to himself, approving his plan as he wiped the blood off of the floor, not noticing the door shutting.

Baekhyun was here,

with Jongin,

as always.

 

chanyeol only cleans his hands and goes to his office, blocking out the moans that the pair emitted.

 

To be fair, baekhyun only did it to get chanyeol's attention. but sadly, he couldn't find chanyeol. only blood stains.

 

he knows he went too far now.

 

but he kept going with jongin, acting as if he wasn't bothered.

 

chanyeol only drowned himself with his music and cutting his wrists. keeping them secret wasn't hard, just a little concealer and it looked like they didn't exist. he hopes no one finds out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, i haven't been feeling well. i hope you enjoy this chapter. my previous draft got erased so i had to start all over again lol.

baekhyun thought they were happy together.

 

baekhyun thought they could have a perfect relationship.

 

but, baekhyun wasn't always the brightest, or the dirtiest, or the sexiest or the more intelligent person in the world. it's sad to say, but, jongin took advantage of that. He took advantage of the fact that baekhyun was pure and easily manipulated. He molded baekhyun into this person that jongin thought was perfect. baekhyun's hair was dyed, he wore makeup, his sweaters got smaller, more revealing, baekhyun started to do yoga, baekhyun started to reject meals, jongin turned baekhyun into this self-conscious mess.

 

the thing is;

baekhyun never noticed.

 

chanyeol only noticed, he tried,  _tried,_ so hard to help baekhyun. But the only response he got was, "Stop getting in between  _my_ relationship. My body, my choice!" and a door slammed into his face.

~~It wasn't his choice with jongin though.~~

 

baekhyun always left jongin's house with a forced smile and a new bruise. always _, always,_ saying, "It's fine, don't worry," with a light laugh. light and delicate. light and delicate. that was what baekhyun was, light and delicate.

and jongin smashed him into pieces. millions and millions of pieces. so tiny even chanyeol couldn't fixed him.

 

and do you know what jongin did? you want to know what the  _fuck_ this asshole did? moved aside and cheated on him. how long, you ask? a month after they started "dating".  _a month_.

 

chanyeol could only watch from the sides, staring helplessly.

 

oh how useless baekhyun and chanyeol felt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rest in peace jongin's father.


	5. Chapter 5

baekhyun was happy with jongin.

 

jongin wasn't happy with baekhyun.

 

_where's jongin?_

"i don't know"

 

_he's cheating on you!_

"you have no proof"

 

_he's getting bored of you_

"i still love him"

 

baekhyun didn't worry,

even if jongin came back at 5 in the morning.

even if jongin smells like cologne baekhyun knows he doesn't wear.

even if jongin slapped him, more than he could count.

 

baekhyun trusted jongin, no matter how much others were telling him.

 

_jongin ruined you._

baekhyun already knew that, but he didn’t mind.

he was happy.

he was infatuated.

 

 

 

key word: infatuated.

 

baekhyun only loved the thought of jongin, not the person he truly was. it broke down baekhyun, the only reason why he was still there was because he thought jongin could change. But of course, jongin didn’t change, and never will.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

sehun was a simple replacement for baekhyun, to jongin anyways.

 

jongin never cared about the other's feelings, even if they were hurting inside. all he cared about was getting his needs satisfied.

it has gotten him in trouble, numerous times. from assaulting a woman at the bar, to getting beat up in the alleyway for not giving back the money he borrowed. it has caused him great trouble, but he still should feel happy anyways.

he had everything he had wanted.

money, power over people, toys to play with, a big house, cars in the driveway, parties he always gets invited to.

but why wasn't he happy?

why wasn't he satisfied? 

why can't he stop  _now?_

 

because after everything he's done, only made him feel guilty. only made him want to drown in the alcohol he's drinking, to make his stomach churn after he recollects the memories of the last night.

 

but he likes it, he likes the guilt, he likes the heavy burdens on his shoulders. it made him feel distracted of everything else that was happening.

 

because in reality; he had nothing.

his house was ratty and small

debt was rising

an old car lent by his mother

and all he could do was ignore it.

 

he felt he deserved it.


	7. Chapter 7

"hey baekkie, can you hand me the detergent?" chanyeol asked as he put the loads of clothing into the washer machine.

 

"mph! o-once second chanyeol!"

 

chanyeol gulped, he knew what was happening.

 

"wait, never mind i got it baekkie," chanyeol barely got it out of his mouth, his hands shaking slightly.

 

chanyeol went to the other side of the flat and grabbed the detergent, racing back to the washer so he couldn't hear anything.

 

but he starting coughing anyways,

 

chanyeol dropped to the ground, petals spewing out of his mouth along with blood. The soft pink petals spraying everywhere.

chanyeol only looked down and sighed, grabbing nearby tissues and cleaning up the mess.

 

"yeol? what are you doing?"

 

chanyeol started cleaning faster.

 

"I accidentally spilled something, its alright,"

 

"i know what it is, yeol. who do you love?"

 

"i can't tell you, baekhyun, maybe later,"

 

"alright" was all he said, planning to meet jongin at the cafe nearby.

 

chanyeol only scrubbed harder, attempting to distract himself from sobbing.

 

but the only thing he could do was shudder violently, as he balled up on the floor, blood and tears mixing together and smearing all over chanyeol.

 

he barely stood up before more petals came out of his mouth.

 

he sighed once more.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

baekhyun got dressed for his date, leaving the flat and locking the door. 

it was silent and dark in the flat, but it wasn't empty.

chanyeol was silent as he stared at the white ceiling, for who knows how long?

time didn't exist when chanyeol was in his bubble, it was something that wasn't a factor in his self-deprecating moments.

he felt lonely and afraid, paranoid by the fact that baekhyun will leave him forever, sooner or later.

all he did was curl up and cough out the petals in his lungs into the bucket he stored under his bed, baekhyun can't know about this- no one can.

he stood up from his bed and opened his laptop, unfocused scrolling as he lost his will to do anything productive.

 

His heart was too sensitive and fragile, it was so close to breaking falling apart.

his help is gone.

a tear rolls down his cheek as he coughed up petals again into the bucket, groaning at the sight.

the bucket was half full and it was mainly blood.

but things have changed and now it's more petals than blood, it was getting worse.

he  _had_ to fix it soon, before it broke him.

before he loses to the fight he was desperately trying to win.

 

but it was no use, he would lose something in the end anyways.

it was either baekhyun or his own life.

he would choose the latter, honestly.

he wanted to live in the last moments, full of emotion.

but did he want to die with a broken heart and unrequited love?

did he want to die alone, knowing that his love will break?

did he really?

he never finished with a conclusion.

he just left that thought completely and hid it in the depths of his mind.

 

_he doesn't want to remember it,_

_he doesn't want to feel the agony and the choked up feelings,_

_maybe another nap will help._

 

_yeah_

 

_just a nap._

_a long one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did most of this in study, sorry if i made any mistakes. i don't review my writing after i finish haha.


	9. Chapter 9

sehun knew he was just fuck material

but who cares?

he doesn't

sehun knew he could pull off anything and everything

he was tall and lean, with thick black hair and a stoic face

sehun fucks around, he doesn't stay in one place

what's the fun in settling down?

if he settles down, he won't be able to experience new dicks up his ass

it'll just be the same one, over and over

he'll fall out of love, succumb to depression and ruin himself

where's the fun in that?

you could be partying, making out with strangers and have multiple good times, get high and drunk without worries and not get scolded at for cheating

now to sehun,  _that's_ fun,

 

jongin was simply a fuck buddy to sehun

no feelings in between

what's more interesting than playing video games and then get pounded into the mattress by your friend because he lost?

yeah, nothing

it was perfect, platonic chemistry

 

so, sehun didn't care, why would he?

love is not his cup of tea, but infatuation is

he loves it when people fall in love with him for a few days, trying to flirt there way to make him fuck them

it was  _fun_

imagine getting all the people you want at a club, in a span of a week

sehun challenged himself most of the time, to see how fast he could get a man to fuck him

his all time record?

ten minutes.

 

sehun remains cocky because of that, oh how gullible some men are,

that poor boy was cute too

a short, young and cute virgin walking into a club to get some

sehun took pity and fucked him with a condom, the other probably wasn't a bit of a dom anyways

 

so, in the end

why would sehun care?

it's obvious he doesn't

 

but his heart breaks just a little bit after he sees jongin slapping baekhyun before entering his flat


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; R*PE  
> Sensitive topics  
> verbal abuse  
> physical abuse
> 
> You have been warned.

baekhyun and chanyeol were laying on their bed, watching netflix with a blanket smothering both of them.

it was a regular Sunday night of chilling together, eating popcorn and falling asleep in each other's arms.

but today was different,

jongin was coming to surprise Baekhyun

 

You know how jongin can get possessive, if he saw them together- chanyeol was dead meat.

but the two didn't know that.

 

they were in the middle of watching the walking dead when the door creaked open, quiet enough to be unnoticed by the two in the bed,

jongin gaped as he saw chanyeol looking at baekhyun with loving eyes- he was outraged.

 

"what the fuck are you doing? who gave you permission  _bitch?_ " jongin yelled as he stomped over to the bed. he gripped chanyeol's hair and dragged him off of the bed, kicking his body until he shriveled in pain. 

jongin and chanyeol were both relatively the same height, except jongin was much more stronger and muscular, chanyeol could be easily beaten to a pulp by jongin.

jongin lifted up chanyeol to eye level and punched his face, throwing him across the flat. chanyeol's head knocked back against the wall, air being pushed from his lungs. chanyeol only groaned. jongin turned to baekhyun, his eyes were open and trembling with fear. jongin tore off the blanket baekhyun was under and snarled.

baekhyun was only in a large shirt (chanyeol's shirt) and undies, to which jongin disapproved.

"what a slut, you wanted to fuck chanyeol, didn't you? tell me why the fuck you were dressed like such a whore? you are such a bitch of a boyfriend. no- just a fucking fucktoy. i can't believe how much of a slut you actually are. can't believe you wanted to fuck  _that_ guy. that fuckin' scrawny kid probably can't even get you to cum like i do," _jongin_ slapped baekhyun's face as he tore off both of their clothing.

"you are taking me raw and dry, you deserve this punishment. you're like a fucking bitch in heat, you'll probably cum just from my cock," jongin lined up his cock with baekhyun's ass and pushed in forcefully; pounding into him with no mercy. baekhyun yelped in pain, tears started to roll down his cheeks, covering his already messy face. jongin only laughed and pushed harder, his hands producing bruises on baekhyun's delicate hips. jongin pulled out and spit on his hand, covering his cock. he slid back in with ease and continued his painful pace. at this point, baekhyun was sobbing, begging jongin to stop.

"stop stop stop stop stop.. please stop.." baekhyun cried as he shook his head. his cries were muffled as jongin pushed his head into the pillows.

"shut up bitch, you deserve this. you should be happy i'm fucking you," jongin whispered into baekhyun's ears.

 

chanyeol was brought back from his daze, screaming when he realized what was happening.

_baekhyun was getting raped._

chanyeol scrambled for his charging phone and called 911, jongin finally noticed him,

"what a special  _bitch,_ calling the cops? guess i have to fuck the balls out of you too later" jongin only laughed as he pounded baekhyun's bruised hole.

_hello 911, how may i help you?_

_my friend, b-byun baekhyun is g-getting.. raped. help please_

_where are you?_

_23 turmon street, flat a3_

_i'll send the police soon._

 

_thank you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are encouraged if you like this story :)  
> It makes me motivated to continue this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

jongin left before the police could get him, he left no trace except the torn up clothing that was barely even evidence.

baekhyun was sullen

chanyeol was in the hospital

why?

he had level one trauma

hit in the head

maybe short term memory loss, but who knows?

who cared?

 

all baekhyun could think was,

_it happened_

_the one thing i didn't think he would do_

_why didn't i listen to them?_

 

the questions in baekhyun's head couldn't match his racing blood and the pain in his spine and below.

it hurt everywhere

inside and out

 

baekhyun wished he could just disappear and stop time

to make it rewind and stop the monster from getting him

but he  _can't_

he hated himself for it

for letting himself become ruins

 

he took a look in the mirror across from him

he looked different

much different then from 6 months ago

he was skinny and frail

his ribs were showing prominently

his fat lost from his cheeks

barely any fat on his legs and thighs

his hair was matted and sticky from hair gel

eye-bags loitered at the bottom of his eyes

his lips lost color

his eyes were dull

 

it was the face of a broken person

but he smiled and laughed evilly, resembling a cackle

it was the face of broken rage


	12. Chapter 12

no one comes out of the flat for days

weeks

almost a month

 

the only thing you see is a delivery person and a skinny tall figure emerging from the dark hallway.

if you were next to the walls, you could hear sobbing in the dead of the night, or cries of rage in the hollow hallways, or the screaming in the day and a vase crashing down. 

 

the inside? it was even worse.

the floor was covered in porcelain and empty boxes of fast food, clothing was dropped around the floor and the lights were never on. they became a mess of trying to piece each other from breaking again. it was sad, pitiful even- but they currently didn't care.

 

_why would they?_

_a part of them is broken_

_they weren't okay_

_and they didn't care one bit- for now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a short chapter  
> i don't feel very well and wanted to at least write something  
> i'm not the best at writing nowadays
> 
> you know- with real life, it's hard to get out something and consistently add to it without a falter.   
> i'm sorry


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been tired lately, my computer just reminds me of school and the stress. i'm sorry for the lack of posting for the past three weeks

kyungsoo checked his phone for the sixth time that hour

 

_where did chanyeol go?_

_he suddenly vanished_

 

kyungsoo made up his mind to go to his flat, he wanted to pay a visit to his best friend.

 

chanyeol and kyungsoo met in middle school, kyungsoo being the quiet person he is - he let chanyeol do the talking.

they hung out at the park, the library, nearby convenience shops but usually just stayed at chanyeol's house.

once kyungsoo actually did start to talk, chanyeol was happy and started to open up even more. they shared pokemon cards, play random console games chanyeol had, hell, even had sleepovers. they were, at least, platonic soulmates.

 

kyungsoo listened to all of chanyeol's rants and noticed how chanyeol was whipped for baekhyun in early notice. he was chanyeol's wing-man, his best friend, his safe place, even with baekhyun in place. chanyeol was still best-friends with kyungsoo.

 

but what happened to him now?

did he get hurt?

did he get kidnapped?

did he..

die?

 

kyungsoo smacked himself for thinking that, he grabbed his coat from the hangar and headed out the door.

he needed answers.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:abuse  
> mentions of r*pe
> 
> announcement at the end

kyungsoo knocked on the door

once

twice

_three times_

 

chanyeol wasn't usually like this, he would open up immediately.

kyungsoo sucked his lips in and took the spare key from his wallet, unlocking the door and twisting the knob. 

kyungsoo could barely see anything, it was dark. he flicked a light switch and shrieked, it was a disaster zone.

everything was either broken or scattered, the kitchen counters were covered in pills, food and alcohol. clothes were strewn everywhere, suspicious liquids were splattered on the floor and dust was picking up everywhere. glass bottles, takeout boxes and fast food wrappers littered the living room.

 

_where was he?_

 

a large clang was heard from chanyeol's bedroom with screaming

_of course_

 

kyungsoo stumbled through the mess and barged through the room, his jaw dropped open as he saw the scene before him.

 

baekhyun was screaming at chanyeol, holding a broken lamp as a threat

"why the fuck didn't you help me!"

"i was fucking dazed, i couldn't move! why don't you blame yourself for loving that fucking bastard?"

"because i didn't know!"

"didn't know my  _ass_! you  _knew_ what he was doing to you! you knew that those bruises were visible, why the  _fuck_ didn't you break up?"

"because he was gonna hurt-"

baekhyun noticed kyungsoo,

"-you.."

 

baekhyun put down the lamp and cleared his throat. chanyeol looked at kyungsoo, then looked at both him and baekhyun. he realized what they looked like.

animals.

their clothing were stained and ripped, their hair were matte and oily from not properly showering, baekhyun looked tired and afraid.

 

chanyeol just looked done.

 

as he stared at kyungsoo, he begun to choke up. he clutched his throat and knelt down, spilling blood and petals. he looked at the figures both behind and in front of him.

 

"i think  _i_ was in love with the wrong person,"

 

chanyeol quietly brushed past kyungsoo and went to the bathroom, locking the door. all else was heard was water running and coughing

 

baekhyun teared up as he looked at kyungsoo, kyungsoo ran up to baekhyun and soothed him.

 

"i'll be here to help both of you,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!  
> this is going to be my last chapter for a long time,  
> as you might not know - i am going to China and Thailand from July 16th to September 4th!  
> i know this is really sudden, but i have to stop this fanfic for a while because my iPad broke. my iPad is the only thing that lets me write without the screen being scrunched up and weird, i wouldn't want to deliver rushed, glitchy and messed up chapters for you guys! i am visiting family and going down to my own roots again, to delve into my ethnicity- chinese!
> 
> thanks for sticking with me for this ride of a story, until next time!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wrote this as best as I could on my phone. The chapters are going to be quite short and blocky, why? Well it’s because I’m getting a new laptop soon, but I’m kind of hoping to get a tablet instead lol. Anyways, I hope you like this filler as I try to write more.

baekhyun’s tiny form could be seen on the couch.

his face blank

and his arms limp

 

kyungsoo could be seen in the kitchen.

cooking up something

they don’t know

 

chanyeol was staring at the wall.

his clothing splattered with random spots of blood

his eyes dull and eyelids were heavy

they were blotchy and red from crying

 

but all you could hear was the sound of the pots and pans clashing together and the sound of heavy footsteps from kyungsoo’s heavy duty boots.

 

the atmosphere was thick with tension and cursed with darkness

only kyungsoo seemed bright at this point

the kitchen and living room lights were the only ones turned on, the rest of the rooms were filled with darkness.

darkness that seems to smother them

oh how useless they all felt


	16. Chapter 16

baekhyun and kyungsoo were at the small dinner table

the table was neat and tidy

kyungsoo was neat and tidy

baekhyun was not

kyungsoo had a pale yellow notebook

he gives it to baekhyun

 

baekhyun quickly flips through the pages

he simply stares at kyungsoo in derision

 

_an achievement chart?_

_how is this going to help me?_

_it's going to_ heal  _me?_

_c'mon, you know better, kyungsoo_

 

_this won't work_

_none of it will_

_i'm going to sleep_

_don't check up on me_

 

kyungsoo sighed in defeat

of course it wouldn't work

he hasn't tried it yet

 

kyungsoo picks up the small notebook

he flips through the pages

it was an agenda

but with goals on the top

kyungsoo thought it was going to work

wait no- scratch that

kyungsoo **knew** it was going to work

he just has to try harder

a lot harder

 

so he moves on to chanyeol

with a pale blue notebook in his hands

he sits next to chanyeol

who was laying in bed

on his side

staring at the plain, blue wall

with a bucket right next to him

nearly filled to the brim

with flowers and blood

tainted petals

floating

and floating

 

and

_floating_

 

that's what chanyeol felt like

his head was dizzy

his body was skinny and frail

eyebags grow darker and darker by the day

 

he felt like he was floating

in the clouds

he could see it

what was coming in the future

the simple light

flickering

daunting

darkening

 

_and gone_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you know, i am still alive!
> 
> spoilers; they WILL go back to as normal as they can get  
> BUT  
> they will not date nor have sexual and/or relations  
> it will simply be too soon in the story  
> if i had to do that, then this story would drag on for hundreds of chapters (because this story is going through a day-to-day basis unless i skip a whole bunch of days and leave a shit ton of plot holes)
> 
> BUTT  
> i AM planning on writing a sequel,  
> so if you have ANY suggestions on a new name title, comment down below!
> 
> kudos are appreciated ^^


	17. Chapter 17

kyungsoo sighed once again

he empties out the large bucket

he grabs chanyeol's medication from the cabinet with a glass of warm water

a pale blue notebook in the other hand

he knocks on chanyeol's door once

twice

and opens it

all could be heard was the wind and rain from the outside

and the singing of a music box

playing next to chanyeol

 

kyungsoo coughs and places the medication 

next to the untouched plate of food

 

_chanyeol, please don't do this_

_eat, please_

_i care about you_

_don't let this get to you_

 

 

kyungsoo's pleads slowly silenced

realizing what will happen

he huffs and stands

he wants things to work

he places the pale blue notebook next to chanyeol's hand

the music has stopped

 

chanyeol snaps out of his trance

he quietly grabs the music box and rewinds it to full capacity

nearly breaking it

 

chanyeol sniffles quietly at the memories that came with that very music box

his head snaps towards kyungsoo

his body falls forward

hugging kyungsoo

 

_i am sorry for all the pain and trouble i have cost_

_i am trying_

_but the flowers in my lungs are killing me_

_help_

_please_


	18. Chapter 18

kyungsoo sat chanyeol on his bed

he places a plate of heated food on his lap

 

_eat please_

 

chanyeol only nods

grabbing the plate

and finally eating

 

after some time

he looks up at kyungsoo

with a bit of rice on his face

and a tired smile on his face

he hugs kyungsoo in gratitude

 

kyungsoo simply patted his back

removing the plate from the bed

chanyeol lets go

and kyungsoo doesn't mind

he places the pale blue notebook next to chanyeol

with a simple pen

with a simple phrase

_start here_

 

chanyeol didn't feel so useless anymore


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT KILL ME PLS

bouquets of flowers slowly fall from chanyeol's lungs

roses of different colors

like an afternoon in autumn

the colors vibrant

stained with dark, thick, blood

 

soft, yellow petals fall from baekhyun's lips

his frail hands carding through the book kyungsoo gave him

the pale yellow one

he wanted to try

 

"baekkie! channie! yah! me and yixing came by to bring in some food and drinks so you guys don't lose your tastebuds!" 

minseok suddenly barges in, a shy yixing behind him

he waves loudly and sets down the food

going to hug baekhyun

while yixing goes to help kyungsoo who was in the office

 

"we know what's happening, baekkie-ah,"

"tell us who keeps hurting you like this"

a small voice comes from the kitchen

"yeah! we want to help you!"

 

baekhyun only manages a wail

before diving into minseok's arms

crying and sobbing 

he is trying

trying

trying

trying

 

baekhyun was trying

and they knew

 

baekhyun didn't feel so lonely anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi :>  
> this is the third time i had to fucking reTYPE  
> BECAUSE MY STUPID LAPTOP JST FA:OFAFJ  
> IT SHUTS DOWN EVERY THIRTY SECONDS WITHOUT THE CHARGER  
> LIKE STOP  
> NO  
> NADA  
> .....  
> fourth time  
> someone get me a better fucking laptop  
> FIFTH TIME BITCHES


	20. Chapter 20

the five of them sit in the living room of chanyeol and baekhyun's flat.

silence filling the room.

the two notebooks sitting on the coffee table.

soft blue and yellow, nearly looking worn out.

 

minseok was the first to speak up

clearing his throat

he asks softly

_what are you guys going to do?_

 

they don't answer.

a piece of them felt guilty

 

chanyeol and baekhyun  _did_ love each other.

they  _did_ want to try.

but the piles of rose petals and trails of yellow reminded them of the inevitable.

~~death~~

 

they felt useless, all of them.

they couldn't do anything

they couldn't stop it.

hanahaki was a deadly disease.

taking lives of the innocent every day.

how could they stop it?

everyone asks that

without knowing the absolute truth.

how could they know?


	21. Chapter 21

days have past

weeks

there was progress made

small talk in the living room

the occasional yell of, "I'm gonna use the washroom,"

the silent trips to the grocery store

with kyungsoo accompanying them for safety

sometimes even late-night talks while staring at the cloudy sky

random little tid bits

about how chanyeol started working from home

about how baekhyun started to apply for jobs

about how the world is so peaceful at night

about

anything

but not one thing

the thing that caused the downfall

the thing that made them weak

vulnerable

traumatized

 

though

the heaps of petals from before

slowly turned into tiny piles

the flowers were diminishing

the bouquets of red and yellow

the subtle mix of orange

suddenly decreasing in numbers

the shriveled vines, clutching onto their mouths

suddenly becoming small leaves

their constant coughs turned into occasional grunts

they were closer

they weren't perfect

oh, so far

but they were closer

they took note

both chanyeol and baekhyun

the flowers that used to fall

are slowly settling down

from a blizzard to a mist

a bit of irritation in the mix

but it was okay

 

were they healing?


End file.
